Manifesting Love
I have many women coming to me looking for partnership, that romantic relationship that will solve all the world's problems, prince charming, the one made for them. They want my help manifesting love. Using hypnosis or hypnotherapy to manifest love is no different than using hypnosis or hypnotherapy to manifest money or health. The process is the same, we investigate subconscious blocks, we practice self hypnosis, and then you “simply” become the energy of that which you desire. So why is it so challenging to attract the right partner?
Wait, did you say simply become the energy of that which you desire? I have to become love?
That doesn’t sound so simple….
Looking inward
Not too long ago, I remember being really perplexed by the concept of self love. What does it mean to love yourself? After all, I was happy, I thought… I was “livin’ the dream” as a successful interior designer, I could go and do anything I wanted at any time. Self-love? Sure I loved myself, I took myself to dinners, I bought myself flowers and nice dresses, what's not to love!
However, once my awakening really took off, I began to realize that self-love had more to do with clearing out and forgiving past traumas and mastering self-talk, and less to do with taking epsom salt baths, getting my nails done, or taking myself to nice restaurants.
Despite what we’ve been told (I wish I had a dollar every time I used that phrase) the journey to finding love is not an outside job, it's an inside journey of clearing out trauma, forgiveness, mastering that nonstop voice between your ears, and doing what brings you joy. Additionally, we have attached our self-love expectations to our romantic relationships. We often expect our partners to love us unconditionally, to forgive all of our shortcomings, and to be our sounding board as we grow and develop as a human. That’s a lot, especially another person with their own bag of traumas, to take on. The good news is, the person you have been looking for all of your life is the one staring back at you when you look in the mirror. I know this doesn’t sound like good news to some, but if you are sick of dating, frustrated at the quality of men left in the pool, or feeling that clock tick louder and louder as the time passess ever so quickly, then there is only one more place to turn and that is inward sister. Inward to self love! It won’t hurt - I promise!
Benefits to Loving thy Self FIRST
Now I’m sure you are wondering, how does this chick know? Does she have a partner? Is she in a loving relationship? No, I’m not and it is totally by choice! I am actively choosing the path of self love over romantic love at this point in my life. And here are three reasons why I believe loving thy self FIRST is the only path to a fulfilling relationship.
1. The energy at which you look for your partner will change from need to desire.
When you love yourself first, you are so full of love that the energy at which you are searching changes from need to desire. With need comes an energy of lack, like sticky gooey tar sludge.
That doesn’t quite invoke the sexy come hither quality it takes to lure a man. The needy are those who tend to suck you dry of all you are. I Need that or else I will die…. Nobody wants that. When your love bucket is full, need transforms to desire. Desire, on the other hand, comes from an energy of want, or yes please! That would be lovely, thank you!…. Very Different Energies.
2. Self love is the unconditional love that you have been looking for.
Self love can be gloriously selfish, as it should be, because you are doing some serious work, clearing out your past traumas, rewriting the script of who you are, and becoming LOVE ITSELF! This is a time to focus on yourself and discover who you are, who you choose to be without the past programming of parents and other authority figures. Honestly, you don’t have time for anyone else’s baggage right now.
3. As you fill up your love bucket, you will become a different person and therefore you will attract a different person.
I know that my spiritual growth has changed me. When thinking about calling in a love relationship now, the “need” for a relationship is gone. I am way more confident in myself, and therefore way more discerning on who I allow in. However, I trust that when I am ready for a relationship it will happen and if and when it does, this relationship will be different, because I am different.
So for all the single ladies out there, and this goes for men too, I invite you to REVEL IN YOUR OWN SELF-LOVE JOURNEY! CLEAR OUT ALL THE OLD TRAUMAS, PREPROGRAM ALL THOSE OLD LIMITING BELIEFS, AND HEALING WHILE YOU ARE SINGLE. It doesn’t have to be a forever journey but whether you have a future relationship or choose not to, the time you spend loving yourself is invaluable.
Now, let's address the elephant in the room….
THAT TICKING CLOCK
In this age of personal growth and self-love, finding the right partner in a timely manner can prove tricky. Men have to live up to different standards in relationships today, and often the number one priority is where they fall short, emotional intelligence. This is to no fault of their own however women have been working on themselves increasing their emotional intelligence for decades now and most men of a certain age are just now coming on line. Now I realize there are some exceptions, and obviously I’m not referring to all men, but in general this is not an equal playing field. In my practice I am finding more and more women who are searching for alternative ways to have and raise children, because they have not found the man they would like to raise children with. The good news is there are many different avenues to choose from; Adoption, sperm bank, or co-parenting.
I hear many of you say that you can’t do it alone. To this I say BULLSHIT! Yes, it might not be the fairy tail you grew up with, but look outside, I ask you- has the fairy tail ever worked out? The only two questions you should ask yourself are
Will I regret not having a baby (Actually, there is only one question)
If the answer is yes, then know that all of the limiting beliefs you have about raising a child on your own is simply from someone else’s message. Because, you haven't done it. So all you know for a fact now is other people found it challenging. Yes, I’m sure they did, but if you search, you’ll find plenty of women say that becoming a single parent was the best thing they have ever done.
My only regret is I wish I had started my hypnosis and hypnotherapy journey toward self love before my son was born. That being said, the best time to start such a journey is always right now.
To find out more about how hypnosis and hypnotherapy taught me to self thy self, click here to book a free consultation